Random Theories and Rantings

Oh, by the way, I tried posting the link and all that appeared on the site was the actual code, not the link. I'm sure it was me screwing it up nicely.

Well, I've left the entry (the other one) from Memphis that I wanted to enter, in my car again today. With so much going on at work my poor brain is swimming some days when I get home. It keeps doing so until I come back in the next day. One good thing this journal has done is that my friend Lauren read it and actually e-mailed me. She was trying to help out with placing the e-mail link on the main page other than me posting it in the body of each message (dylan555@yahoo.com). Like that, though that could allow for some creative attempts at how I could work my e-mail address into every single thing I write. Alright, I digress, it was very nice hearing from her. She keeps threatening to write me a letter... at this point my guess is that its about 17,000 pages long. We'll see.

Other than that I wonder if posting my e-mail on this site is a bad idea. I've noticed a spike of e-mails from high ranking officials in the third world who need my help. How could I help them you ask? I'm not capable of bringing rains to dry crops, milk to starving children, or tranquility to areas of civil unrest am I? No, apparently my bank account number, telephone number, and probably social security number could help them save their vast fortunes or national treasuries from ruthless dictators or warlords. Its all sounds like a movie starring Tom Cruise or Steven Segal (depending on the budget and the letter). Maybe these people read about my life and they think I am just the person to help them. Ha!

I'm going to sit down and try to write something for real now with my pen and real paper. I've been randomly selected to watch the phone while all are at lunch. Hope everyone out there has a wonderful V day. (especially you Lauren).

I was hoping to get the other entry from when I was in Memphis entered today but I'm too busy. Also wanted to figure out how to add my e-mail to the page, and figure out why the hell every other time I try to enter stuff it bombs out on me... but alas I have a focus group to run, refreshments to purchase for that group, and people to train, retrain, and the such. More to come tomorrow. If you know how to post e-mail on the main page, or have actually read any of this stuff, e-mail me at dylan555@yahoo.com. It would be nice to hear.

(a few days old, from 2/5/03)
The well has run dry, or at least it seems to have. I'm finally in a job where my poor brain doesn't have to analyze and write all day and I can't write for myself. Its funny (at least I find it funny in an uh oh sort of way, not the ha ha sort of way), I'm flying (or waiting to taxi at Hartsfield) to Memphis to get two groups of complete strangers to listen to music for two nights and I can't even get a good line about Elvis out.

I'm starting to think that writing, while a joy when you get it right, is the hell I've thought it was. Most of the time I think I might actually look for an excuse to get out of writing. Laundry, cutting the grass (which is ironic since in my townhome community it's done for me), washing the dog, all seem like better ideas. It's like when you're a kid and someone tells you to perform a task or chore that is too strenuous or painful. Writing is the one activity like that for me. The problem is, I'm the one setting the high, high standards.

We're talking Herculean task kinds of stuff. Slaying the hydra of plot and character holes (and all the shit I don't remember, but it has its own analogies and metaphors. I promise).

See, whenever I get lost or frustrated I do two things: one I curse. The other (that would be two) is I jump to a totally new idea without connecting it fully (or at all) to the first idea I was joting down. I suck at starts, ends, and stuff happening. Let me write about something (or more aptly, nothing), with no plot or development and I am golden. Otherwise its time to start smoking again.

That's another thing (and another unrelated theme); smoking. I quit in September and I still equate (shit I mean associate) it with writing. S (my previously unintroduced and likely to stay unnamed girlfriend) would say that's just me being silly, though I miss it a LOT! Some days more than others, but a lot when I'm trying to write for some strange reason. Though in the same breath S would tell me that Stephen King continually writes about it, which I thought was pretty cool even though I'm not into the whole horror genre thing.

Maybe once I get to the hotel it will come more easily. Right now my thoughts are scattered and consist of growing frustration with writing, work, worries about money, the shaking of the plane (normal on takeoff but making it impossible to perform the act of writing and girls. The girls part is always there, what can I say??

I've got some older things I want to add to this. Given time, I'll craft it more and more. I have no clue why I would post my thoughts and feelings out there to read, but I figure I've needed to write more AND I've needed to do a bit more thinking. This will allow me to do both. Like I said, I have some stuff "archived" myself that is written on pen and paper that I will add soon.