Random Theories and Rantings

Back to today (and out of the past). It seems that we are going to war. Possibly as soon as Eight tonight. I am hoping we don't but am sure we will. Its left me with an odd queasy feeling. This feeling that something new and different (and bad) is about to happen to us regardless of what anyone has to say. Its different than the last, gulf war, this time there is a feeling of doom. I wonder if its my age since then.

What also concerns me is that the local paper is telling me to be prepared for all these contingencies and one of them is a nuclear blast. WHAT?? I haven't worried about that kind of stuff since I was a kid in the late 70s, before Gorby became the the leader of the USSR. The paper basically said to duck and cover. Ha! It has a little more information, but it basically tells you how to run from a nuclear shock wave. I'll tell you how, you kiss your ass goodbye!

Well back to my concern, is that either Bush has no justification for war and we're going to do something wrong, bad, etc. OR that the government has information regarding what is really going on and not telling us. If that's the case, what really IS going on?

All I can say is that I hope every one of our soldiers makes it home safely to their families, that their experience isn't very bad, and that as few lives as possible are lost. I am against this war, but still hope our soldiers are safe.

Good luck to everyone...

From 3/12/2003 - Chicago, Ill.

I walked around downtown Chicago a bit today and discovered I really like th ecity. I need to come back here with a plan and more time. It's a real city with its own pulse and culture. Its like New York on a different frequency, but different from cities like Boston or DC. I felt alright wandering around, but at the same time out of place. Like I had woken up years in the future and everything was slightly different. I haven't been to a city and felt that way in some time.

I'm here at a smaller group than we usually do. The travel isn't too bad. The hotel is nice, but tomorrow I have to get up at the crack of fucking dawn. Before dawn. More like the middle of the night. I don't even think I'll have time to have a proper dinner. Wonderful!
Three in the am to get my ass to Midway airport (the irony is that I'm staying at O'Hare. Or is that Alanis Morrisette irony... which is just shitty luck?).

I did, however, write a bit on something new today. I'm going to kick it around. It involves a crazy (insane, not just mildly touched) woman. The trick is discipline. The chops are still there, they're just flabby and out of practice.

The only bad thing about these groups is that they're too long! All the music blends together and I keep getting the middle aged women music. Its so damn bland!!! If we tested fewer songs, fatigue rates would drop and we could ask more perceptual questions and get better information. More robust is the term I should use.

One of the women in the front row looks like my X. Similar face, not quite as harried or depressed, but there's a look in the eye. I wonder if its a "my life sucks" panic look or something else. No one else too noteworthy.